


Kiss & Cry

by ofreverentia



Series: 15 Days Challenges [4]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: ( I don't exactly know how to tag but nothing majorly painful in here ), 15DaysChallenge, 5+1 Things, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hidden Depths, M/M, supportive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 16:55:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19277503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofreverentia/pseuds/ofreverentia
Summary: A/N: This is for the 15DaysChallenge with the theme: Kiss & Cry. Thank you to my amazing beta for checking this story for me and actually making me cry with her feedback. Love you!





	Kiss & Cry

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is for the 15DaysChallenge with the theme: Kiss & Cry. Thank you to my amazing beta for checking this story for me and actually making me cry with her feedback. Love you!

 

 

****(1) 2014 World Championships Saitama, Japan** ** **  
**

 

 

Shoma enjoyed watching competitions, especially with the future he had in front of him, or planned to have. He wanted to become a top skater for Japan and the best competition to watch for those is World Championships. With Japan holding it this year and a good team of theirs representing, he spent most of his free time in front of the TV to watch. Even Mihoko accepted the fact that his trainings had to take place according to that schedule; she did sigh, a bit annoyed, but understood why it was so important to him. Learning about his future competition wouldn’t hurt either. 

 

What she didn’t know was that Shoma also watched because he had a major crush on Yuzuru and wanted to see him win.

 

The day of the free skate Shoma felt nervous, kept fidgeting in his seat and he got blown away by the performance of Yuzuru, fighting. His admiration turned into amusement and slight judgement for the antics he displayed in the Kiss & Cry. As Javier was the next to skate he sat alone there, only accompanied by his trusty Pooh. His “shoganai” shrug made him chuckle then burst out laughing in front of his TV. Yuzuru had to take the paws of his tissue box, shaking it. While his antics were cute Shoma could see he was nervous, the tell-tale sign of him brushing his hair behind his ear several times, trying to calm the crowd to let his training mate concentrate before his skate.

 

_ “Habi, Habi.” _ He could read from his lips and felt a sting inside his chest, which he could identify as jealousy by now. The scores spoke for themselves and Yuzuru jumped up and down happily, bowing to the audience. Shoma swallowed hard and made a promise to himself.

 

“One day I will have scores like that myself. Be worthy to compete with him.”

 

****(2) 2015 Grand Prix Final Barcelona, Spain** **

 

 

Shoma felt exhausted after his skate, also overwhelmed by the fact he was sitting in the green room and his chances were good to be on the podium at the Grand Prix Final. He couldn’t believe his luc,k or as Mihoko put it, his hard work to get here. He did train a lot, fighting his way mentally to be here, hopefully to bring a medal home to Japan. Javier sat next to him, smiling kindly, nevertheless he couldn’t help but feel a bit of resentment towards him as he was lucky enough to spend days in and out with Yuzuru together. Shoma quickly pushed those thoughts away, looking at the small screen which now showed Yuzuru with Brian in the Kiss & Cry. The older Japanese took his drink from Brian but quickly picked up Pooh when he realized the cameras were on him. He rubbed the plush toy’s head in the way that always made him relax a bit; he must be nervous to know his scores. In that exact moment the screen split and showed him and Javier in the green room. Bewildered, he didn’t know what to do but Javier did as he bowed to Yuzuru on the other side of their exchange, slipping from the seat to do it properly. Shoma was confused even more and didn’t know what he should do, wave or bow, does he need to kneel too?

 

Before he had time to figure it out, the camera went back to fully show the Kiss & Cry and he let out a sigh of relief, Javier laughing next to him, that sunny and happy laugh he gave everyone. But there was an edge to it. Shoma understood why as the scores showed. Yuzuru did it. A score neither of them could achieve, maybe ever. Shoma watched as Yuzuru bent over, face buried in Pooh and when he raised it tears were streaming down his face.

 

“Why am I crying? I don’t know!” They could all hear over the deafening noise of the fans in the stadium. Biting his lip, Shoma turned his attention to the floor. He was still miles away from Yuzuru.

 

****(3) 2017 4CC Gangneung, South Korea** **

 

 

This feels like deja vu for him, yet again sitting in the Green room and watching as Yuzuru soars across the ice surface. In contrast to another time, a different country, it is Patrick by his side, making some comments which he barely understands. A few words here and there but obviously the older skater does not expect for him to speak. They both nod as Yuzuru takes his final pose. It wasn’t perfect, Shoma knows that Yuzuru could do it so much better. He had showed that in the beginning of the season but he never had luck at this particular competition. Shoma knows that in the coming years it will possibly be so for him when he comes to skate at 4CC. He doesn’t mind at all. A competition is a competition and if he can have a steady season without many breaks it works for him.

 

He is ripped from his thoughts when the camera of the Kiss & Cry finally focuses on Yuzuru. As usual he picks up his Pooh makes it wave and bow to the audience. Just over some noise they can hear how Brian mentioned his triple axel, which wasn't in the original layout at all. Yuzuru laughs high and delighted, a hint of mischief at having been caught. Brian doesn’t seem to mind, on the contrary he is more than delighted that Yuzuru could change the layout on the spot and get away with not making horrible mistakes. Yuzuru is talking with more hand movements than words and Shoma finds it rather endearing. He knows how difficult English is for him but he tries. He moved across the globe to train with his current coach. Their conversation is interrupted by the announcement of the scores, and Yuzuru raises both his fists in triumph, pleased with his achievement. Said arms rise up higher and he high fives with his coach. Shoma watches on from the green room, admiration in his eyes along with the disappointment that he still can’t get above him. Even on a less spectacular day Yuzuru is above him.

 

 

****(4) 2018 Grand Prix Helsinki, Finland** **

 

 

Shoma had promised himself to concentrate on his own skating this season but he couldn’t help but sneak into a silent corner and open a livestream to watch the free skate in Helsinki. He only had about enough time to watch Yuzuru skate, but it was the one performance he did not wish to miss it. Pyeongchang and the one summer ice show they did together seemed forever ago, and the first competition of a season does not show the true power of a skater. Yuzuru didn’t peak but he knew that meant Helsinki will be something else, a sight to behold. He wasn’t wrong. Yuzuru earned himself another world record with his short program, and as he took his final pose after performing Origin, Shoma knew that would be a world record too. Excitement filled him, unable to contain it because this is the Yuzuru he wants to see during the season and compete against too. Back and strong, even if it meant watching his ridiculously adorable antics in the Kiss & Cry. Cue the screen showing Yuzuru waving, the usual bow to his coaches and audience. Then he started to shake Pooh so hard Shoma couldn’t help but laugh out loud, his embarrassing bubble laughter that only a few people could trigger from him. Over the years Yuzuru had become one. The whole arena erupted in the same laugh. Shoma can pick up some of the words Yuzuru tries to say to Brian.

 

“200 something?” But the moment he says it his scores appear and it is not what he expected, a weird noise coming from him. Shoma shakes his head over his phone with utter fondness. Something must have been downgraded because Yuzuru’s face twists a bit in confusion. He must be running through the whole program where he lost points. The total score flashes and it is so close to 300 Yuzuru even makes his “mo chotto” finger move. Yes, it is close, and Shoma suddenly realizes that a whole new system can’t make Yuzuru stop making history. The rest of the footage he misses because he looks at the empty room in front of him. Still so far but also closer than ever. He quickly types a congratulatory message to Yuzuru because he knows nobody can beat his score, his win is guaranteed. He pushes himself up from his seated position.

 

“Time to work...Still not enough.” He will beat Yuzuru, one day and for that he will train harder.

 

 

****(5) 2019 World Championships Saitama, Japan** **

 

 

None of his coaches thought it evil of him to want to be on his own. Saitama didn’t go as he imagined, he felt utterly defeated. His disappointment couldn’t be hidden even in front of the media, and he let out a few miserable noises, holding back his tears. Unfortunately he could only take it until the door closed behind him. He fell to his knees and let the tears fall down his cheeks, wailing in despair. He had failed his nation in their own country, and more importantly he had failed Yuzuru. Shoma was meant to support him and they should have taken two spots on the podium, but no, he sat miserably at fourth after the event, overtaken by jumps that were horribly under-rotated. Shoma knows his performance lacked, but he had seen how the American boy taking bronze performed on the ice. He was certain he did better than that. 

 

To torture himself further he crawled onto his bed and took out his phone to review the event. Stare at his mistakes and falls. He winced with each one, but then came Yuzuru and his rise after his short. Nobody, not a single soul, could disagree that he put up the best performance of the night. Shoma felt a wave of fondness and admiration in his chest, pushing against the disappointment. For a split second he could breathe and just watch Yuzuru being nervous but cute in the Kiss & Cry. Over the years these became some of his favourite moments to watch. Yuzuru waved Pooh around, gave his usual appreciation to his coaches and a bit extra for the audience around him. It followed with him hugging his Pooh, which he only did when he was extremely nervous to know his scores. Shoma chuckled in between sobs as the small paws of Pooh got rubbed together in the signature movements of his coach. Yuzuru nodded accepting his scores, not too displeased but not ecstatic either. A small surprised ‘o’ came from him as his total reached over 300. 

 

_ “The first to break, 100, 200 and 300 under the new system.”  _ Said one of the announcers, maybe Nobu, he doesn’t exactly know. He only sees numbers he can’t reach even in his dreams. The camera lingers, on them and Ghislain turns to Brian saying something. Shoma can’t quite catch it, it is spoken too fast and the noise around is too much. It must have been something outrageous because Yuzuru gasps out loud, shock evident on his face, then promptly bursts out laughing. At least he was having some fun, Shoma appreciates the support he gets. Then the broadcast turns to the ice and he tosses his phone aside, turning to stare at the ceiling.

 

In that moment he hears the sound of his hotel door opening, the tumbling sound of a suitcase. He turns his tear-streaked face in that direction, and there stands a very tired looking, equally disappointed Yuzuru. Shoma reaches forward with his hand, a few seconds later feeling cool hands wrapping around his own.

 

**(+1) 2018 World Championships Milan, Italy**

 

Yuzuru always kept his eyes on his competition but there were maybe two individuals he had always spent a bit more time watching. Javier and Shoma. Shoma especially had come a long way over the years and he couldn’t help but watch him grow. The younger has become a strong competition and kept pushing Japan forward, especially in times he himself fell short. Like now, laying in his bed in Toronto, watching the Men’s free skate in Milan. His ankle is propped up and a bag of ice is helping him cool the pain he still felt. Watching Shoma struggle through his program, falling three times, brings tears to his own eyes. He sees the mental strength the younger is bringing, fighting for each element on a damaged ankle. It makes him recall Pyeongchang. Victory was his but at what cost? He hopes and prays it is not as bad for Shoma, because nobody deserves a body like his which breaks down at the smallest strain.

 

Shaking his head and reaching for a tissue from Pooh, he wipes the corner of his eyes. A small whimper escapes him when the camera zooms in and there are tears streaming down Shomas face. He wishes he could be there and provide comfort, hug him and tell him that he fought so hard, he needs to be proud of himself. Instead he is sitting in a bed miles away. Yuzuru closes his eyes the second Shoma falls into Mihoko's embrace. He doesn’t open them until the replays are over and he can see Shoma in the Kiss & Cry. 

 

At least Shoma doesn't look to be in pain and had dried his tears (for now). They are waiting for his scores and he smiles, making Yuzuru smile in return. The scores appear and he sighs in relief; it is a good score, though his chances to podium rely on the failure of others after. Shoma turns to Mihoko and asks the question Yuzuru already knows the answer to. He is so proud of Shoma and also Kazuki for having done the best of their abilities. Yuzuru runs his hand through his hair, looks at the ceiling, thanks whatever power is out there for the strength of his teammates. As he watches the rest of the competition he finds his phone and types out a message.

 

_ “I am so proud of you Sho. More than you can imagine. My warrior. I love you.” _ Later as he watches Shoma getting a silver medal he feels even more proud. 

 


End file.
